On this day, the 212.89th anniversary of the passing of La Marquis de Burette, we felt it was fitting to recount the remarkable story of his life. We have also described the lives and works of several other chemists whose names have achieved immortality by attaching themselves to pieces of laboratory equipment.

Vespa aaiiggghh Bloodyhell, 1824 are renowned for their defensive behaviour, complex social structure, and history for punishing human curiosity. In this unprecedented study, we explore the aggression threshold of V. aaiiggghh by inserting a human index finger into their nest entrance.

People say that watching VTubers brings them joy and results in higher life satisfaction. This paper harnesses the power of YouTube statistics tutorials to prove that spending more time watching VTubers does not correlate with spiritual fulfilment, but does make you more likely to fall in love with them.

A corpse and a bucket of nuclear waste walk into an oceanic trench…

We measured the percentage of drivers who waved us while driving across a desert, and extrapolated some findings about vehicle choice and personal fulfilment. 

This work is a fusion of very old and very new chemical techniques. First, we employed the oldest method of drug discovery by wandering around some woodland eating random plants and fungi. Then, we let AI do all the hard work of structural determination.

The winners of the 2025 Noble Prizes are presented and discussed. Let’s all hope that 2026 is a better year.

The language that scientific papers are written in is a needlessly complicated form of English called lingua wanka, which is dripping with corporate-style jargon and pompous bollocks. Herein, I talk about why that’s a bad thing.

The principles of chemical kinetics are harnessed to explain why theoretical researchers have a hard time losing weight. 

Necessity is the mother of invention. According to our mate Terrence from the local hospital, if he has to get the endoscope out one more time on behalf of someone who “fell backwards onto their shopping bags”, he’s going to spifflicate them. We feel that this constitutes a necessity, and this paper contains the details of our associated invention.

This article appraises the four best ways to convert base metals into gold. 

We recorded a cover of Ed Sheeran's "The A Team". We rewrote this melancholy ballad, originally about homelessness and substance abuse, to reflect the experience of doing a PhD, and somehow made it even more depressing.

The authors of this paper went above and beyond, and physically went to a mall to survey the public. Their question: do you like twizzlers?

This article provides corrections to conventional astrology to account for dark matter and dark energy.

For the first time ever, traces of a WIMP have been recorded, finally resolving the disputed existence of Dark Matter, and demonstrating that SHADY is the most amazing collaboration on the face of this planet. 

The Truth They Don’t Want You to Know: Vaccines and Autism—A Totally Tremendous Investigation

The periodic table has probably been the worst table in the history of tables! I’ve heard a lot of people say this. In this paper I will sign into an executive order a new Patriotic Table of Elements with American pride and splendor.

This paper investigates a physically unverified yet socially undeniable phenomenon: that talkative people tend to make rooms warmer and introverts emit a detectable “cold aura.”

We applied the principals of green chemistry and OH&S to light artillery, and herein we report our findings.

This article documents the coping mechanisms students can use to psychologically repair themselves after becoming victims of PI divorce.