This paper studies why shared household goods are often left almost, but never completely, empty. A simple rule is considered: whoever finishes milk must replace it. When replacement is costly, rational agents have an incentive to consume as much as possible while leaving a strictly positive strategic residual drop. Rational laziness can explain why the milk carton is never technically empty, despite containing no useful amount of milk.

We have adapted the techniques of scanning probe microscopy to devise a process for measuring ectoplasmic forces. Our method uses a hotel californium (HCf) probe tip with a demonic soul (DS) point defect. The process described allows for the easy collection of characteristic spectra and non-optical optical measurements of wavelength. We benchmarked our technique by characterizing gadolinium cobalt (Gd_0.2Co), which we found to be possessed by a red ghost with a density of malicious intent (DMI) of 0.218 ± 0.007 g/cm³.

We report a first-principles investigation of a novel W₄Os₂ cluster in which a tungsten shaft, selected for its record holding melting point (3422 °C) and general firmness, is counterweighted by a pair of dense osmium nodes. Calculations at the PBE/def2-SVP level predict a large aspect ratio, and a great personality.

It turns out that electrons are a bit like property: their value is tied to their location. A modest three-bedroom house in Manhattan could be valued at over $4.5 million, while an identical house in Frogballs Arkansas costs $8.50, asbestos included. This paper is a quest to find the world’s most valuable electrons. We began with intentions of making snide remarks about blueberries, but when we crunched the numbers, they told us a completely different story. Herein, we discuss our findings and present a grand unified electron pricing structure.