We present a formal quantification of the “Bibliographic Event Horizon,” a phenomenon by which the first reference in any academic paper, [1], functions as a gravitational singularity. Following the seminal work of Specter [2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 17], we establish that as the reference count (n) increases, the probability of the author having actually opened the source material of the references approaches the Planck length.

According to our theory, undercaffeinated employees become more fragile and required more sleep to continue functioning, making them less effective and harder to be around. In an attempt to prevent our researchers from using inefficient mechanisms such as sleep to ensure wakefulness, we have developed a novel beverage entitled “Stayawake Juice”.

Asking subject organisms in biological studies if they consent to take part in experiments can reduce selection bias.