This literature review summarises the current body of knowledge concerning Capra stabilis, the even-toed ungulate commonly known as the dahu. The history of its discovery, its physiology, behaviour and evolutionary lineage are discussed.

The natural product thiotimoline was isolated from the bark of Rosaceae Karlsbadensis rufo and its structure was unambiguously determined by time-resolved X-ray crystallomancy and spectroscopy. A total synthesis of thiotimoline was conducted following a convergent strategy. The pivotal transformations in this synthesis were a tandem Suzuki-Miyaura/Schinkenfaust radical cross-spifflication, a Szymankowszczyzna allylic inquisition and a [3+2+3+2] Puccini-Gershwin echocyclisation in A♭ major. An unnatural isomer of thiotimoline was also synthesised, and a theory of kairality and chronomers is presented and discussed.

The attractive physical properties and widespread availability of 2,4,6-trinitrotoluene (TNT) make it a popular commodity chemical. In accordance with the maxim that longer things are more appealing, it stands to reason that polymerising TNT should improve its utility. Herein, we report the first synthesis of poly(TNT), and an appraisal of its properties and commercial potential.

A one-step synthesis of taxol.

The search for a material capable of conducting electricity without resistance at room temperature and atmospheric pressure has preoccupied scientists for more than a century. Such a material has as unrivalled capacity to produce platitudes and hyperbole from science communicators and journalists, as well as some minor implications for the electronics and power industries. Herein, we report the synthesis and characterisation of such a material: a cobalt-doped uranic corium called SK-431.

The following article constitutes a preliminary trial of a chemistry-specific artificial intelligence chatbot called “ChatCsp3”. This bot is being trained to take dense chemical jargon (left column) and make it accessible to the general public (right column).

Sorting socks can often be a time-consuming task. This paper introduces the fastest method known in the scientific community to tackle this challenging task. Details required to implement the new algorithm and data structure will be introduced and discussed. Abundant application of this novel algorithm may be able to reduce the time required for sorting socks considerably.

This is what happens when you try to take statisticians to the pub.

In a statement published this morning, a leading physicist has pronounced that Milton Schrödinger, the cat of famous 20th century physicist Erwin Schrödinger, is probably dead.

We are fucking over undergrads so we’ve got more time to drink expensive beer.

Proof of Work is killing the planet, Proof of Stake is a pyramid scheme, and other proposed consensus models are either easy to spoof or infeasible to implement. Herein, a new model is proposed: Proof of Wankery (PoWank). PoWank does away with the problems of weighted voting by digital assets or wasted work, and instead awards votes based on an individual’s ongoing dedication to the #Web3 lifestyle. 

This article describes one of the least relaxing baths of all history. 

The proper naming of chemical compounds is paramount for conducting science in a serious manner, as well as for the purpose of just screwing around (not to imply that there is any significant difference between the two). In this work, a more appropriate name for 3’-hydroxycinnamaldehyde is proposed.

A brief history of the Noble brothers and their legacy is presented, and the Noble Prize winners of 2023 are discussed.

Six things to do with a decommissioned NMR.

Supernatural products are just like any other molecules, only more so. This illiterature review presents a recap of supernatural products with structures that have been elucidated or reassigned in the last decade(ish).

The elevation of our species to the next level of sophistication and progress is dependent on a single variable. I am of course speaking of rabbit-light hybrids. In this paper, we take the first steps towards making this shizzle happen.

We report the first total synthesis of the supernatural product monoalizeamine D via a 14-step pathway. Our synthetic approach relies heavily on photocatalysis and radical intermediates. By preparing both E and Z isomers of this compound, we have conclusively resolved the ambiguity concerning the orientation of the C15–C16 olefin.

I, on my tenth glass of Californian Sauvignon Blanc, wrote some mathematics like all good groundbreaking mathematics is written; straight from my head into LaTeX. Fuck you, I’m not going to check it.

It is well known fact in the scientific community that geologists frequently lick rocks to determine their mineral composition. With this paper we aim to formalize this procedure and establish a baseline scale enabling geologists to reliably classify their favourite rocks culinographically.