International experts™ have officially revoked the 8.5 W/m² future climate scenario. While this highlights the volatility of norms and standards in the climate debate, here we recall that one sacred thing must remain untouchable: the 1850 baseline. By means of a well-timed time-machine grant and generous support from government-funded modelling agencies, we demonstrate that returning global average temperatures to the precise meteorological conditions of 1850 is not merely desirable, it is fiscally imperative.