It turns out that electrons are a bit like property: their value is tied to their location. A modest three-bedroom house in Manhattan could be valued at over $4.5 million, while an identical house in Frogballs Arkansas costs $8.50, asbestos included. This paper is a quest to find the world’s most valuable electrons. We began with intentions of making snide remarks about blueberries, but when we crunched the numbers, they told us a completely different story. Herein, we discuss our findings and present a grand unified electron pricing structure.