We report a quantum leap forward in the field of nanocomputing, with the development of a fully-operational molecular computer. Our device, the DORF4000, contains discreet processing, storage and signal input/output domains, all in a volume smaller than the tip of a pin. To benchmark the DORF4000’s performance, we demonstrate that it is capable of running the video game Doom (1993).

By combining the domain of Wumbological mappings, the cocaine consumption of unsuccessful day traders, and electron sexuality, this work disproves contemporary notions of the union of the nucleus and atom by proving that all electrons are infinitely repulsed from the nucleus. I also want a density functional named after me. This density functional is named after me.